Candles

I ran after work. A long one. About 25k. The air was cool. Just one gel and one water bottle top up from the park fountain. The sky was getting dark by the time I got home. I'm a little sore.

But I don't feel tired, or even a bit sleepy. My ragged legs have no interest in sleep. Running is their vodka-redbull. They want to dance a twitchy dance and force my feet to submit to a pedicure. Scrub away those blisters and callouses. No.

If I can't sleep, I could be content to lie here, digesting my dinner and organizing my life for the next 20 years. Or 20 days.

I have no idea what my life will look like in the future. I picture the future as a crumbly stone well & bats hiding deep in the shadows. Are they good bats or evil ones? Hard to tell from up here. I can't picture my life half as clearly as I can those bats, sleeping upside down, wrapped in darkness. I wish I could sleep.

Damn you, bat well future. You can't talk but I need your deep advice. Should I do anything differently than I am now? But that's not it. The real question is, why stay the same at all?

Our lives flicker like tea lights.